Sorry for not updating more frequently. I have been meaning to, somehow time gets away from me. I find that statement very funny and quite ironic.
Brian left earlier this month we are currently into week 3. Anyone that has been through a deployment knows that the first few weeks are all about finding your "sealegs". I will be honest, I have not cooked a meal, a real meal since he left. I feel horrible about it. Really I do. We have been eating, just not like we used to. I have vowed to get back into our regular routine this week. Honestly, a lot of the problem has been we have been busy. Usually, I am happy to sit home. I can go for days never leaving the house and not thinking twice about it. But, in the past few weeks, we have stayed home twice. Both times, I was near tears. Not because I miss Brian (I do) or because I am bored (I am), but because I get incredibly impatient with my darling son. I am sure every parent says that their child's age is a bad one to have a deployed parent, but I am here to tell you 3 is a BAD age! When Brian is home, I know that at the end of the day, I get a reprieve, that Brian will walk through the door and there is someone else to entertain Cooper. I don't feel guilty leaving daddy and son together while I go to the store or not give my 100% attention to my sweet little boy. But now, there is no daddy walking in the door and the only break I get is an occassional offered one. I am not the type of person to seek out childcare, but believe me, I have considered putting him in daycare a couple of days a week just for mental health...So, we end up being very busy all the time. We go visit people, we go to stores, we run errands, whatever we can to pass time from morning to bedtime. Thankfully, Paige is working, assistant riding instructor at a local stable, going to school and has theatre so with all her activities, we end up out and about picking up and dropping off a lot.
Neuroticness aside, everything is going rather well. One of the things that occupied my mind was the search for adequate home protection in the form of a dog. Call me crazy as we already had two, BUT, Vienna will be lucky to bite a shoestring and Gus will just lick you to death. We live in a nice neighborhood BUT there are some unsavory people (in the form of teenagers) that wander about the neighborhood causing havoc and I like knowing that I have an inital deterrent before I have to go to more extreme measures. (Yet another of the things a single person has to think about on a daily basis, I am quite brave when Brian is home, I investigate strange sounds, but then again, I know he has my back) So, we now have another German Shepherd named Rosie. She is very scary sounding, and very protective of both me and Cooper. Since Paige isn't home very often, I am not sure she knows that Paige is on her watch as well.
I tried to comment on my phone yesterday, and it wouldn't let me. It being my phone. Or the app I was using. Not sure. I can't find a good blog reader app.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I take Simon to child watch at the Y every day. I say that it is so that I can work out and so that he can get some social time with other kids his age, but its mainly so that I get some time to myself. And Nick isn't deployed. When we were in Missouri, one of the wives down the street had a 3 year old, and she brought him to daycare 2-3 times a week, just so she could time to herself. And not only was her husband not deployed, he was just in school, so he got home at a reasonable time and all that. Granted, he just went to the CDC so childcare was free, but still. You're not alone in wanting child-free time. I think its kind of similar to how, when your significant other is home all the time you just want him to freaking go to work already. But then when they are at work, or deployed, or whatever, you're happy to see them more when they are home. I know my BFF is going through this right now, she was apart from her husband for months, and she was crazy missing him, and now he is waiting for a school slot to open, and him being home is driving her nuts. That little bit of time away from my baby...makes me 100 times happier to see his little face when I go get him.
Sounds like Shawna needs some Shawna time :)