I may have stated a time or two that time is the enemy in deployment. No gun or weapon of mass destruction is as dangerous as time. I mean no disrespect to anyone (or their family/friends/community for that matter) that has been injured or lost a limb or given the ultimate sacrifice of their life--but in general, time is a ticking bomb.
Some people count down or mark off the days; they create paper chains with their kids or somehow creatively account for time gone by or time to go. I have a handy little app on my phone called the "donut of misery" in which anyone can count up or down to something. Sometimes it is exciting to check it out and see how far you have come and other times you look and wish you never did, as it is kind enough to not only count months, but weeks, days, hours, minutes...seconds.
I tend to be a 'glass half full' girl but that darn donut makes me a 'glass half empty' girl from time to time. I opened it recently, and mine counts time gone by (since we don't have a return date) and time until R&R, which in the civilian world means VACATION for my husband. I find it funny they refer to it as "rest and relaxation". You essentially get 14 days 2-4 are spent traveling back in time and at least that much is spent dealing with jet lag and readjusting to being back in the States, not to mention the 14 days spent dreading the "see you later".
Today I had some time away from the kids to do some grocery shopping. During the ride I allowed myself to think about the impending R&R time we will get. I am often asked about it, "do I look forward to it?" "how will our son handle it?" "am I excited?". I have done R&R once before and it was exciting, I couldn't wait, I fretted over outfits and plans, I talked about it with my girlfriends, I dreamt about it. This time, I have not allowed myself the luxury of thinking about it until today. I try to handle most things with avoidance, I simply don't think about it; I rarely know what day it is in a month so I don't keep track of how much time has gone by, though subconsciously I track time by Thursday's since that was the last day of the week we were together. While it is still many weeks off, I thought about how I will handle putting our family back together again, and then, I got excited. I allowed my mind to wander to the day I get to head to the airport. I think I will just tell our little boy that we are going to pick up Mommy's "friend" and PRAY I arrive at the correct gate. (Long story) Everything else will just fall into place.
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