Chapter 15 "R&R" for Dummies

I have done R&R (Rest and Relaxation) twice now, and I stand by my initial impression that R&R is a poorly executed idea. Basically, you are given two weeks in which you get out of the comfort zone/fortress that you carefully built the last few (or more) months.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy that I had the opportunity to spend some time with my husband, some people aren't as fortunate for one reason or another, but mentally it hits you like a Mack truck.

R&R is simply too short.  Week one is a week of decompressing, readjusting and reacquainting, then there are the factors against you, time change, jet lag, reintroduction of home cooked meals and in some cases alcohol.  Week two things finally start to feel like they used to and by that time, it is time to start mentally preparing/distancing, packing up and heading back again.  When your SO leaves, instead of feeling a sense of accomplishment or a renewed feeling of "I can do it" you are thrust into the reality of "here we go again". 

Soldiers returning home get "briefed" on what to expect and what not to expect when they come home, after all, in many cases a lot of time has passed and we all know how much can change in a short period of time.  I doubt my husband has ever left and not returned to newly painted walls and some renovation that I either did myself or contracted out.  There are the less obvious things that change, little nuances that you might not notice on a daily basis and you worry about them or their existence.  On the flip side, we are not prepared on what to expect or not expect, maybe it is different if you are a full time "Army Wife", and perhaps National Guard spouses don't get the full Monty when it comes to preparation.  I joined a support group when Brian deployed the first time (being just a girlfriend at the time) and over the years I have given advice to countless women about R&R or deployments and what to expect or not expect and I fully believed (and still do) in all I said, but taking my own advice is a horse of a different color.

I think I will suggest to my husband that we each complete an "after action report" as they say in the Army.  He has always said that there is always room for improvement. I guess that since another deployment or long separation for training is inevitable in our lifestyle being prepared for the worse isn't the worst idea.